Monday, December 20, 2010
I handed in my notice today. What a scary feeling to close the door of financial security. I know it was only illusionary. That nothing is certain in this life, but its one thing to be pushed out of the plane and completely another to jump out on your own. I was ashamed that I was feeling afraid. I hadn't been fearful until this morning. Then I realized that I had not completely been trusting God. I was still trusting in my job to provide for my family. However, I believe there was lesson learned today. I woke up believing that the absence of fear demonstrated faith (and to some degree that is correct), but what I learned today was that acting on faith in spite of your fears is a great expression of faith as well.
at 9:17 PM
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Kim and I have been discussing mission work for the last 15 years. We discussed it as a worthy retirement pursuit or something to do when the kids run off to college. We were in a race, caught in the middle of a crowd, a mass of people all moving together towards something. A undefined goal, an object constantly moving and illusive. Financial success defines it as well as any other term and every few years it was redefined, like a carrot on the end of a stick. We were both busy pursuing our definition of financial success, when we heard the call. It wasn't a slap in the face or a voice, but a subtle urging within to do something. That this worldly pursuit was never going to satisfy. That filling the bank account is not going to fill the soul. There was a purpose God had made us, there is a reason God had brought us together for and it was not to accumulate stuff to stick in the attic or to make a little extra so that we can a can keep Outback Steakhouse in business. No, we both knew that God had a greater purpose for our lives, and we had yet to live it. We both felt a growing restlessness, and in Mar 2009 we both decided that we would slowly move towards mission work. We setup a great five year plan, with a year by year progression. I must say we were very proud of our thoughtful strategic plan. However, God was not impressed and He did not buy in to our masterpiece. We had finally submitted ourselves to Him and apparently the fields are ready for harvest and He needs workers in the fields now! Within one year of that discussion we were presented with the opportunity in Nicaragua. It was clearly God calling and the only response to God when he calls is "here am I, send me".
at 7:59 PM